Today was one of those days that I really wish that Alex was home. It’s one of those days that I wish I could have come home to his arms and just cry. Just to have him hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. To have him look at me and remind me why I do what I do. He’d remind me of the aspects that I really enjoy. I knew it was going to be rough when we both agreed that he was going to use his CDL and go with this truck company (OTR). I knew that there would be rough days with Edwin and Evan. Those I can handle. Today though is a day that is rougher than any day with a 29 month old and an 8 month old. I can’t truly vent to anyone about it since it pertains to my job, however it’s very frustrating and has got me very unnerved. When I spoke to Alex last night he told me about how he’s really enjoying being OTR and for that I’m very thankful. I know how important it is to enjoy what you are doing. I will openly admit that when we made the decision for him to go OTR I was ecstatic. I thought this will be great for us we really need some time apart. Then I watched him board that Greyhound bus June 17th and it began to sink in. Even though I am very independent I do rely on him for a lot. It’s not just a physical relying. I mean I can use tools and fix most anything that needs to be fixed. It’s the emotional support. Yes, we’ve had our ups and downs. We’ve had our disagreements and have even been upset with each other on more than one occasion. In almost 5 yrs of being married though I never realized just how much he helped me in keeping myself level. There is a reason why our paths kept crossing after we broke up at age 16 and went on our own paths. There were many things that happened in each of our lives during those almost 20 years that had to happen so we could be where we are now. I’m glad that things have turned out how they have but I really miss my husband.
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